Month: January 2014

Life is not like Gloomy Sunday

So, I’m not really sure if anyone will ever read this, but I’ve started a little project here. Out of a deep fear of losing my treasured diaries – which I began to write when I was sixteen – I have decided to re-write and post them online. Internet is forever, right? 

As well as posting the written words from my teenage self, which includes my weird obsession with music, and lots and LOTS of teen angst, I will be annotating the posts, as well as posting relevant pictures.

Now, to give you a brief rundown of what will be included…

The first entry was written a few months after being sexually assaulted, and half a year after two suicide attempts – basically, consider this is a trigger warning. It’s been a long time since I’ve read these words, so I’m not sure how much detail I give into these events, but I thought I would give a warning just in case. It also chronicles my gradual diagnosis of my mental illness, so you can also expect a lot of sad, paranoid and occasionally raw posts.

Lastly, I would like to say that through all this pain, all of this suffering, I managed to come through to the other side. There is light at the end of the tunnel; you just have to try your best and believe in yourself. That’s what got me through. I reached a point when I was seventeen and decided that I was no longer going to be a victim of people (I was constantly bullied by friends and peers alike), but more importantly, I was no longer going to be a victim of my past. It was then that I started to believe that I could overcome the darkness and be strong. 

Be a fighter. Be a warrior.

*deep breath* Here goes…